Long after you think you have forgiven someone, you can still be harbouring hard feelings. Some indicators that you still have work to do are these: you keep thinking about the person who hurt you and become resentful. You avoid them. You rehearse the incident mentally and in conversation. You take every opportunity to remind them of what they did. Do you know what you’re doing? Justifying an unforgiving attitude! There are two things God won’t share.
(1) The praise that’s due Him. ‘I will not give My glory to anyone else, nor share My praise.’ (Isaiah 42:8 NLT)
(2) The right to ‘settle the score’. Paul writes: ‘Never take revenge… The Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord. Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.” Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.’ (Romans 12:19–21 NLT)
So forgive, hand the situation over to God, and trust Him to work it out! When ‘people insulted Christ… He did not insult them in return… He let God… who judges rightly, take care of Him.’ (1 Peter 2:23 NCV) Resentment chains you to the offender, and you end up as a hostage. Dwelling on something your parents or spouse did, or how a colleague took credit for your work, or what someone may or may not have said about you, makes you—not them—miserable. You walk around stewing, and they don’t even know you’re upset. Don’t give anyone that kind of control over your life. Forgive—and move on!